Don't turn on the light

All the voices, the words, the actions, the faces, the eyes; every part of them are just a new ring in the chains that day by day are getting heavier and painful.

I can't lie, I want them to tell me they need me, to hear them when they said "I love you", having them by my side is a gift as much as a grief. They want me, they need me, they help me but that just increase the pain.

I don't want to be there anymore, I'm a coward who can only see the death as the last place to visit. I want to run away but every time I hear those words I forget what would make me happy, for what would make them happy because there's nothing more important that their happiness.

So please, don't turn on the light because I don't want them to see what I am now. Just let me be like this, bearing the weight of the chains, until the destiny tell me if my choice will remain or if the new one will be made. My dream has been completed, theirs don't, that's why I'm going to stay here.

It's true that I don't have enough reasons understandable for the rest, like him; and that I'll leave pain behind, unlike her; but this is my only egoistic desire, the last.